The compulsion to live almost exclusively through memory and anticipation has plagued me for years. This creates an endless preoccupation with past and future and an unwillingness to honor and acknowledge the present moment and allow it to be. However, the past gives me my identity and the future holds the promise of fulfillment. So it’s hard to change that.
It has been said that you cannot find yourself by going into the past. You find yourself by coming into the Present... the Now. You can always cope with the present moment but you cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection - you cannot cope with the future.
But I have a goal. My goal is to walk along the Razor’s Edge of Now. I’m an edge dweller. I would rather be on the edge during this learning experience. I’m comfortable there. I do want my life’s journey to be an adventure not just an obsessive need to "arrive." Sometimes it seems that I’m always trying to get somewhere other than where I am. I want to really see and smell the flowers by the wayside and be aware of the beauty that surrounds me in the Now but it’s not that easy.
The enlightened person’s main focus of attention is always the Now. You cannot be free in the future. You can only be free in the Now. Now is the Narrow Gate that leads to life. So how can I do that?
Studying the complexities of the mind may make me a good therapist, but doing so won’t take me beyond the mind, just as the study of madness isn’t enough to create sanity.
I must change my Mind Patterns (insanity- which only creates suffering) and give attention to the present, letting go of the past, and not think of the future.
I’m trying.
My husband once said "If you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space". I'm pretty good about not living in the past, but I am a dreamer and planner, so it's hard to live in the "NOW", but i"m trying.
ReplyDeleteIt's been really hard for me not to dwell on the past, and I've always wanted to be around the next corner. I think I'm finally getting it, now that I'm living this lifestyle. I don't want to be on the edge. I want to be firmly planted exactly where I am. Sometimes that IS on the edge, but most of the time it's just a comfortable spot where I'm enjoying myself and my surroundings. I think full-timing IS a bit edgy, you never know what will happen next, so the comfort zone is nice for me.
ReplyDeleteSome of your posts really make me think. :)
Hi Teri... I really like your husband's saying. I'm going to remember that.
ReplyDeleteHi Barbara... I also think full-timing is a bit edgy. It is definitely a challenge to stay in the Now while traveling. There is always that anticipation of what's around the bend.
Great post Gypsy Boho! I invented these soldiers for my mind and can set them to patrol for obsessive thoughts (for me, it is usually about the past) and when they spot one the soldier will alert me and then I can turn that thought off. I often have to be reminded more than once LOL, but eventually it works. This "trick" has given me much peace. VtChris
ReplyDeleteHi Chris... Soldiers of the Mind... cool. I like that. I have members of my Tribe who take care of such matters. However, they don't always get along. LOL
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