Monday, October 31, 2011

THE ISLAND OF ADULTHOOD

Now a castaway on the island of adulthood, ever less sure of rescue, I’m hoping for a few precious moments to regain youthful bliss.



I believe in bliss. However, it has become foreign to me. In our youth something is taken away – our priceless individuality – that part of us which makes us unique and differentiates us from the others. We reluctantly accept maturity and responsibility. We "grow up," and sometimes lose ourselves in the process. Some people are never conscious of what they have lost, but the sense that there is something not quite right remains. We feel the sense of something that is missing.


A part of me asks, "Why are you leaving the comfort of home, friends and family to go out into the unknown alone? Aren’t you afraid?"


I respond, "I have accepted fear as a part of life - especially the fear of change. I will go ahead despite the pounding in my heart that says: turn back."

 Another part of me asks, "Why do you have to leave to find what you are looking for?"


I respond, "It isn't about finding oneself by leaving, it's about finding oneself by living. Let me tell you why we’re leaving. We’re leaving because we know something. What we know we can’t explain. It is something we feel. We’ve felt it our whole life. It’s like there’s something just not right with the world we are living in, that there is something we have lost and must find. We don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in our mind, driving us mad. It is this feeling that is calling out to us and will take us away. Do you know what I’m talking about?"


 Some of us do and some don’t.


Leaving is hard. It can be a big sacrifice. I think we always have to leave something behind to recapture our youthful bliss. Perhaps if we start listening to our inner voice, then decide what is really important, and what needs to be left behind we might regain the true treasure. I’ll try not to be afraid to "grow down" if I feel like I've grown up too much.


What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. I will not cease my search and exploration due to fear. However, I may, at the end of my search, arrive where I started and know the place for the first time. And that may not be so bad.


I’m hoping that my road experiences to come are too fantastic not to tell. In my search I’ll keep in mind that the road I may fear to travel could lead to the treasure that I seek.




Come to the edge!
We can't... we'll fall.
Come to the edge!
We can't... we're afraid.
Come to the edge!
They went...
she pushed them...
and they flew!

See ya... further down the road.


10 comments:

  1. Growing old is inevitable; growing up is optional! Good luck in your quest.

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  2. Hi Donna, Thanks for the good wishes.

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  3. Love the last poem - it's so hopeful. :)

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  4. "It isn't about finding oneself by leaving, it's about finding oneself by living. Let me tell you why we’re leaving. We’re leaving because we know something. What we know we can’t explain. It is something we feel. We’ve felt it our whole life. It’s like there’s something just not right with the world we are living in, that there is something we have lost and must find. We don’t know what it is, but it’s there, like a splinter in our mind, driving us mad. It is this feeling that is calling out to us and will take us away."


    Well? I've gone from being -what the hell- to doing a bit of moaning to tearing up to writing several comments then deleting.

    I'm almost afraid to meet you. If you are different from what you write… I will eat wooly worms, climb a tree and get sick so someone will feel sorry for me.

    I'm so excited for you ;) ...

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  5. Oh, that is really good, i love reading u and your search, the way u write and think. "i will go ahead despite the pounding in my heart.." i think i let the fear overtake me and the loneliness was too much, responsibility took over. Still hope for the freedom and the dream. Take Care in your travels..HAVE FUN!

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  6. Profound, truthful and insightful. You're a few steps ahead of me on the journey. I hope to follow you and with you on your joyous journey!
    God Bless you in your adventure:)

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  7. Hi Barbara... I found that poem a long time ago and it has stuck with me. I agree that it does ring of hope.

    Hey Carolyn... I'm a very complex person and depending who is speaking at any given moment, you will probably recognize me in my writing. I sure hope you don't have to eat wolly worms ;-)

    Hi Loree... Yeah, that pounding in my heart was loud and clear today. You did try. That is to be commended.

    Hi Janine... glad to have you following and wishing you strength on your quest.

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  8. Gypsy!!! so glad you posted... hope you're having a wonderful trip so far ;)

    Thought about you this morning ... checked your blog and sure nuff... clock down showed zeros all the way across!

    yay!

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  9. left out count but you know what I meant... Hahaaa

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  10. Carolyn... I just added a new post for today. Check it out.

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